1. Buy roses. What?! Not buy her/him roses? What kind of Valentine’s Day is that?! Um, a commercialized and over-marketed Valentine’s day? There are other flowers in this world. Roses aren’t even the flowers of love. Tulips are. Yet due to some crazed marketing campaign in god knows when, roses are the go-to flowers for this holiday for lovers and florists take full advantage on February 14th. Don’t spend your hard-earned money on a red rose for $500 a stem. Buy a bouquet of different flowers, like tulips or Asiatic lilies or peonies. If you have a garden or access to a garden, pick her a bouquet from your heart. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it. (And if she doesn’t, well maybe she’s not the One.)
2. Propose. Come on. Proposing on Valentine’s Day? How trite. How cliche. How obvious. Pick a different day, a day that will really surprise her and remind her how thoughtful you really are.
3. Forget about friends and co-workers. For some people, there’s nothing better than bragging about how awesome your significant other is. So what could be better than having your boo prove why he’s so much better than that guy over there? It’s been almost ten years but I still remember what an ex-boyfriend’s cousin did for his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. He walked into her office with a dozen roses for her. Then he walked around the office, distributing a rose to each co-worker and asked them to be nice to her on this day. They agreed quite happily. On the other hand, don’t forget to wish your friends and co-workers “Happy Valentine’s Day” too. Everyone appreciates some love, even the bitter singles.
4. Expect too much. This is a common problem on Valentine’s Day. People expect too much, plan to receive roses and chocolates and expensive jewelry. You’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Calm down and just remember: Valentine’s Day? Actually celebrates a martyr, not love.
5. Return the effort. Relationships are two-way streets. There is no reason Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be.
6. Be upset about your single status. Relationships aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Sure, happy relationships exist but most of them are 6 months of honeymoon followed by 3+ months of torture. By the way, being in a relationship? Is no guarantee your partner will remember or do anything for V-day. Even if he does, there’s no guarantee you’ll be happy with it. (See #4.)
7. Ignore or forget about Valentine’s Day entirely. It’s fine if you don’t want to celebrate it but everyone appreciates a quick “Happy Valentine’s Day!” text or tweet or Facebook status, etc. This costs nothing and will make someone a little cheerier. Bingo.
Now, you. What are you doing for Valentine’s Day? We’re going to YakiniQ, an all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ. There’s nothing more romantic than stuffing yourself with meat.